Sorrow
by laveniis
Summary: Unforgettable.


Amidio lay in a separate room in the infirmary, wrapped in bandages in almost head to toe. His body was slowly recovering from the beating it had received from Corenten. Amidio was resting right now, in a rather deep sleep. It was too exhausting for him to be awake for too long. He was however, stable at this point, so there was no need for anyone to worry about him too much. Corenten refused to leave Amidio's side, even during the night, when he could sleep in his own room. Instead, he would curl up on a couch in Amidio's room and watch him protectively.

Amidio would always insist he go back to his own room if he awoke to Corenten, but he would always refuse. He was too tired to argue with the guy, and he supposed it was reassuring having him there all the time. His body ached so much, so that's why he chose to sleep so much. He'd rather be awake as little as possible while his body was still recovering.

It was late at the moment, and everyone had left the infirmary and returned to their own dwellings. But as usual, Corenten remained. He sat by Amidio's bed. It was cold tonight, but he didn't make any attempt to find some warmth. He just held Amidio's hand as he slept, finding that was warm enough for him. He sighed, and pressed his forehead to the bed. He knew that what he did was for the best...but, it made his heart ache. Thinking about what he did to Amidio, even if Amidio was not himself for more of the experience. He was sure Amidio did return to his senses when almost all of the marking were carved out. The thought of being covered in Amidio's blood and seeing the man's flesh almost made him sick. The thought of Amidio being himself and hurting him while he knew what was happening made him squeeze his eyes shut, praying that was not the case, even though it likely had been.

He wanted to apologise. But he hadn't had the chance and he knew Amidio would just say it needed to be done and that it was completely fine. He knew he'd say that. Amidio wouldn't break down in tears, demand that there must have been another way rather than hurting him, and tell him he hates him. He wasn't like that. Even if he thought of doing things like that, he would not. Corenten kind of wanted Amidio to be mad at him, although he was not sure why. Perhaps he felt so guilty that he would feel better if Amidio just came out and said that he was mad. But he would never do something like that.

Corenten remembered having to press Amidio to the ground forcefully. He was sure he had slammed his head against the ground a bit too hard, but he just wouldn't stay still. He couldn't stop recalling the memory of himself raising his hand and digging his dragon claws into Amidio's skin, cutting the flesh and the markings that held his mind captive. Amidio remained unaffected almost for most of the process. That was of course, until he had turned him over onto his stomach and carved straight into the skin on his back, tearing apart the major marking. The amount of moving Amidio did dropped after that. When it was finally over, Corenten felt disgusting. He was dirtied with his lover's blood. Amidio lay there, barely awake, just crying in pain, pathetically. He'd never been among so much blood. Corenten just could not remove the memory from his mind, no matter how hard he tried.

He hadn't noticed, but somewhere along his train of thought, he must have started to cry. He covered his mouth with one hand, and went to cover his eyes with with his free arm. But he found that he could not move his arm, as a warm hand shakily took hold of it, not allowing it to move.

"Are you crying?" Amidio said softly, letting go of Corenten's arm and raising his hand to touch the dragon-blood's cheek. Corenten looked up at him, lips trembling. Even in the dim light of the room, and even after all the pain Amidio had endured, his red eyes seemed to still shimmer so brightly. They made Corenten feel warm, and he just felt more tears slipping down his cheeks. He hardly ever cried (in front of others), but for some reason, right now he just could not stop. "H-Hey.. ah, Corenten? What is the matter?"

"Nothing," he puffed weakly, unconvincingly. Amidio stroked his cheek and looked at him sadly.

"You never cry. Something must be wrong," Amidio laughed softly, a worried look on his face. Corenten shook his head furiously, too much of a proud person to speak up. Or even admit he was crying, even though it was obvious. He pressed his face into the blankets of Amidio's bed. He heard Amidio sigh softly, and then felt his hand on top of his head, petting him gently. "It is okay to cry. I'm sure you would feel better if you told me what was on your mind."

"N-No.."

"Please, Corenten. It's not nice seeing you sad. It makes me sad." he insisted softly, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against his pillow. Corenten sighed and sat up, wiping his eyes in hope of having some dignity while he spoke.

"I...I was thinking about what I did. To you. And what happened." he whispered, looking at the wall on the other side of the room. "And I was thinking… what if there had been another way? One that didn't have this outcome?" Corenten mumbled, fiddling with his hands.

"Corenten… there would have been no other way. Exorcism would never work. And if that wouldn't work, the only option would to indeed be to remove what binded me to my father. So even though that meant you had to harm me in a way like that, it is okay. Because it was for me, for the best. The best for everyone." Amidio attempted to tell him, but Corenten just took in a sharp intake of breath.

"'It is okay'?" he repeated, looking at him now, into those deep red eyes. Corenten was still crying, but he supposed he didn't care anymore. "Do you not feel any anger towards me? Any hate? Fear?" he almost growled. Amidio was shocked.

"I-"

"You're going to say you love me, right? And what I did was okay and necessary, so you have no bad feelings?" he cried, staring right at him.

Amidio was neither angry or hateful towards Corenten. But he was afraid. He would have nightmares of what he could remember Corenten doing to him. He could still feel the claws cutting into him over and over, messy and deep, as Corenten stared down at his body like it was just something to cut into bits. He knew that was absolutely not the case, but that's what it really felt like and it made his heart race. Corenten saw discomfort in Amidio's face and instantly looked away, resting his hands in his lap.

"When I remember, I am scared," Amidio whispered, shuffling under the covers of his bed. "When you look at me so fiercely, it makes me want to run. I thought you were going to kill me. I thought I would die at your hands, and I thought… it would be okay because I'm a monster. But I didn't. You saved me, Corenten. And even if I'm afraid of you, I could never be mad at you. You saved me, please… know that. I beg of you."

"Okay. I-I'm sorry for scaring you. I got kind of worked up. My mind is everywhere, haha, um…" Corenten muttered, shuffling closed to Amidio's bed. Amidio sighed softly and smiled down at him.

They sat in silence for a bit, neither of them sure of what the say or do now. It was just a peaceful atmosphere, both of them left to their thoughts. Amidio tilted his head and reached down to touched Corenten's cheek again.

"You're cold." he stated, pouting and caressing his cheek. "Why don't you get into bed with me?" Amidio asked, smiling weakly. Corenten frowned.

"What if I hurt you in your sleep?" he asked worriedly, looking at Amidio's visible bandages. Amidio laughed softly.

"I'm tougher than you think," he wheezed, moving over a bit so Corenten could get under the covers with him.

"Fine," Corenten mumbled, trying to sound reluctant, but failing. He stood and crawled into Amidio's bed. Amidio laughed softly and carefully rested against Corenten. "Are you sure I'm not hurting you by being in here?" he asked softly.

"Yes," Amidio yawned, closing his eyes. "Go to sleep, okay?"

"Okay." Corenten huffed softly. He tried to hold Amidio gently, avoiding the spots where he had hurt him.

They lay in silence for a few minutes, and Corenten finally relaxed.

"Um… Amidio?"

"Yes?"

"I love you… a lot. Amidio, I love you." Corenten murmured, holding Amidio's hand very gently. Amidio laughed very softly.

"I love you too, Corenten. Now, you should sleep! You look tired," Amidio puffed softly, sighing contently. Corenten let himself smile, and closed his own eyes finally.


End file.
